Who’s Afraid of Cotton Pads?

"Who’s Afraid of Cotton Pads?" is something all teenagers can relate to. It is short, loose and makes you feel... unique. A good, short evening read.

by Bundle of Nerves, 1st grade

I’d like to think I’m different from others. It’s only natural - everybody likes feeling special. That’s the one thing that we all have in common. We like to see ourselves as one of a kind. Indeed, there are no two people who are the same. Some people are gay, some are Buddhist, some can play the violin really well, while others like chocolate-scented candles. You can meet a person who has the same beliefs as you and think: „Wow, finally someone who is just like me“. But then you go to lunch with that person and they order spaghetti. So you weren’t the same after all. It’s impossible to find a person who is exactly like you, which, technically, makes everyone unique. However, as Syndrome, the ginger villain from “The Incredibles”, once said: „If everyone’s super then no one is“. I think this also applies to being unique. In fact, everyone is just normal and dull, but people don’t want to admit that and prefer to look for things that make them extraordinary and amazing.

When I was asked to write about what makes me unique, I was really puzzled. I wanted to write about discovering my sexuality and dealing with it with grace. I wanted my story to be profound, honest and personal. But when I asked some of my classmates what they were writing about, some of them told me they wouldn’t write about their true selves and they would make up some story. The thought didn’t even cross my mind. Certainly not because I don’t have enough imagination - I think I’m really creative when I want to be - I just wanted to write something from the bottom of my heart.

Maybe that’s what makes me special: I always want to do something amazing, I don’t ever want to do things sloppily. But sometimes I’m too afraid to do my work the way it should be done. The pressure to be great stops me from actually achieving greatness. I don’t think that this in itself is particularly unique, but when combined with my belief in reincarnation, the affinity for volleyball, enjoying vanilla ice cream and attempts to play the ukulele, it might produce an extraordinary mixture.

So, instead of writing about all the serious struggles I’m dealing with, I will say that my real quirk is this: I’m scared of cotton pads. I don’t know why. There is no rational explanation for it. I just am. My sister always teases me because of that. She is four years younger than me, one head taller and obviously fitter. The mere sight of her sometimes makes me scared. She likes to run around the bathroom ripping up cotton pads. Even thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. I know it’s weird. There is only one other person in the world that I know of who has the same „phobia“. I read about her on the Internet. She can’t even change her children’s diapers. I have to use wipes to take of my make up because I’ll only touch these fuzzy, white things when I absolutely have to. So, I guess you could say I am special in some way. Special and full of anxiety.